At midnight tonight it will be exactly 30 days until my 31st birthday. I thought I'd have my life all figured out by now. It seems though, that 'LIFE' is sitting in the corner and slapping it's knee while maniacally laughing at me. For the first time in what seems like forever I don't know which way to go. This is hard for me since I'm a control freak that constantly plans for 'what if this happens' or 'if that happens I can just'. Well this time, I'm just going to ride the wave. I believe that for the most part the universe will show you a way. It closes doors so that you have to find a window to open and sneak in (sometimes it's just a small crack in a wall.)
I've been doing a ton of soul searching lately, and the conclusion I keep coming to in my mind is that I love designing and making things. I LOVE it. So I've decided to pursue an Associates in Arts degree in Fashion Design. I'll start in the spring. My big vision is to have a small clothing and accessory line. I pretty much already have this, but with space constraints and working two jobs (which I no longer have)it's been hard to get motivated to make things. It's fueling me now though. I want it more than anything. I can see it, feel it and taste it. It's all I think about, and I WILL do it.
I guess to close things out, you never know what life will hand you. You absolutely can not predict it. All you can do is keep your goals and dreams alive and you'll be alright. It's sometimes hard in the moment because everything is up in the air or we just feel like we have no way out. But you do. We're all beautiful, creative, tenacious people. We can do whatever we put our minds to. Sometimes the hardest part is making that change. Letting go of all the old that is making us feel bad, or bored or angry and simply move on. Start fresh with the intention to live a life that makes you happy.
At the moment, this whole pile of hair bows that I slaved over (all night last night) is making me insanely happy. It also makes me feel so grateful for the talents that I have.
Sorry if this post is a bit personal, but I just thought I'd share some personal stuff for once. Maybe some of you are feeling this way too. If it helps you at all to know that someone else is right there with you, then my job is done. If you need to talk, send me an email. I'm always glad to listen.